Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Pope Song

So, Tim Minchin's awesome new song (I say new, it's... newer than his other songs) 'The Pope Song', is another genius song written by this amazing musician. And when you take out all the swear words, he's got a really good argument going.

Unfortunately, nobody can watch the cartoon on YouTube unless they're over 18, because some douche flagged it as inappropriate. If you find it inappropriate, DON'T WATCH IT. Gosh.

So I thought, fuck the motherfucker! I'm uploading it to the blog.

Don't be offended if you're religious, and if you're not, then enjoy. :D

I would also recommend listening to it while reading the lyrics. It makes more sense and it's even funnier, but the cartoon is also ridiculously funny.


Fuck the motherfucker
Fuck the motherfucker
Fuck the motherfucker
He's a fucking motherfucker

Fuck the motherfucker
Fuck the fucking fucker
Fuck the motherfucker
He's a total fucking fucker

Fuck the motherfucker
Fuck the motherfucker
Fuck the motherfucker
Fucking fuck the motherfucker

Fuck the motherfucker
Fuck the motherfucking Pope.

Fuck the motherfucker
And fuck you, motherfucker
If you think that motherfucker is sacred
If you cover for another motherfucker
Who's a kiddie fucker
Fuck you, you're no better
Than the motherfucking rapist

And if you don't like the swearing
That this motherfucker forced from me
And reckon it shows moral
Or intellectual paucity
Then fuck you, motherfucker
This is language one employs
When one is fucking cross
About fuckers fucking boys

I don't give a fuck if calling
The Pope a motherfucker
Means you unthinkingly brand me
An unthinking apostate
This has nowt to do with other
Fucking Godly motherfuckers
I'm not interested right now
In fucking scriptural debate

There are other fucking songs
And there are other fucking ways
I'll be a religious apologist
On other fucking days
And the fact remains if you protect
A single kiddie fucker
The Pope, or Prince or Plumber
You're a fucking motherfucker

You see I don't give a fuck about
What any other motherfucker
Believes about Jesus
And his motherfucking mother
I've no problem with the spiritual beliefs
Of all these fuckers
While those beliefs don't impact
On the happiness of others

But if you build your Church on claims
Of fucking moral authority
And with threats of Hell impose it
On others in society
Then you, you motherfuckers
Can expect some fucking wrath
When it turns out you've been fucking us
In our motherfucking asses

So fuck the motherfucker
And fuck you, motherfucker
If you're still a motherfucking Papist
If he covered for a single motherfucker
Who's a kiddie fucker
Fuck the motherfucker
He's as evil as the rapist

And if you look into your motherfucking heart
And tell me true
If this motherfucking stupid fucking
Song offended you
With its filthy fucking language
And its fucking disrespect
If it made you feel angry
Go ahead and write a letter

But if you find me more offensive
Than the fucking possibility
That the Pope protected priests
While they were getting fucking fiddly
Then listen to me motherfucker
This here is a fact:
You are just as morally misguided
As that motherfucking, power hungry
Self-aggrandised bigot
In the stupid fucking hat.


Henceforth, have fun getting this song stuck in your head. It's quite catchy.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Licking Emma Watson's Face

Why don't I get to lick Emma Watson's face?

Cause I'm not a dog.

So, this story makes more sense when you pretend they are stray dogs.









Friday, October 1, 2010

The Montuak Monster

So this is what I do when I'm bored, I look up random crap online and then talk about it on my blog. Not very interesting?

It's called the Montuak Monster, and it washed up on a beach near the Montuak Business District of New York in 2008, and it was reported that a similar creature was found in Panama in 2009. There has been much speculation over what exactly this thing is, as it has a body like a raccoon and hands like a sloth and a beak and a tail.
Some people say it was created at a laboratory as an experiment, but there are no surgical marks on the animal. The most likely explanation, according to some 'experts', is that it is a mutated turtle without a shell. Which is sad, when you think about it.
However, turtles do not have claws or tails or elbows, so what is this thing?
There are some other suggestions as to what it might have been...

- Voldemort (or at least, the voldemort of the animal world)

- A Gargoyle (hey, it's possible... there were gargoyles in the Hunchback of Notre Dame, weren't there?)

- A creature from Avatar (or any other plausible alien creature)

- Yoda

- A [Baby] Gryphon (because mythological creatures are awesome)

- Dobby

- A Dog Monster (reference to Ghost Busters)

- Charmeleon

So there's some food for thought.
Unfortunately, it's more likely to be a neglected or tortured raccoon or dog that has been decomposing for more than a few years. That sort of makes me sad, so deep deep down I really hope it's a Charmeleon.
Henceforth, be on the look out for more strange things. (On the internet, anyway.)

The Fucking Weather

It's, the internet's number one site for weather and foul language! What more do you really need?
It's a really good site. You can put in any city and it'll tell you what the temperature is. You can change it to celcius, and get it to remember your city. So I've set it for Perth and it said to me,



Sometimes, it says things like
  • 15°?! ITS FUCKING ....ALRIGHT ... AND WET. Better than a sharp stick in the eye.
  • 89°?! ITS FUCKING HOT. Better than winter.
  • 20°?! ITS FUCKING NICE. Quit your bitching.
  • 2°?! ITS FUCKING COLD. I'm freezing my balls off in here.
  • 69°?! ITS FUCKING SEXY TIME. What comes after 69? Mouthwash.
  • WRONG FUCKING ZIP CODE. Or server error, whichever.
So save it in your bookmarks, because henceforth I'll be using it as my main weather informant.